I fear that my life is a mess. its going well but i'm in a mental turmoil. i just wish these last few months of school would finish so i can go to college and start to sort my life out. i decided to go to an animal college to study agriculture which i love. but first and foremost i want to train in psychology, i want to help people and look into their problems, worries and concerns. i chose college as its cheaper in the long run and i have more of a chance of succeeding, but i sometimes wonder..

I usually can't stand my best friend and I wish I could like her and trust her as much as I do my ex who she hates.

The idea of sex with anyone is just not enticing, the times I've had sex it was awful and I wanted to cry afterward, being penetrated was so awful. The only time it feels good is through masturbation. Some days I think I'm asexual.

I'm really afraid I'm the stupid one in my group of friends.

My friends and I have developed a code language so we know what type of pants one girl at my school is wearing on any given day. If we see her and then our friend we'll say stuff like "The tides up right now" or "It's a beautiful day"